A Guide to Finding Your Place for the Wandering You

Have you ever lost your way in the city lights and wondered, “Where is my place?”

• Concrete methods to listen to your inner voice and understand yourself
• New ways to balance between belonging and isolation in relationships
• Three journeys to create your own place through real-life examples

Step 1: Who Am I? — Drawing the Map Within

The true journey of finding my place must begin with a deep and honest look inward, not outward at the world. Before finding where I belong in the world, I must first know who I am.

The Boy Who Lost His Emotions: Lessons from “Almond”

In Son Won-pyung’s novel “Almond,” the protagonist Yoon-jae suffers from alexithymia, a condition that prevents him from feeling emotions. Called a “monster” for his inability to empathize, he changes after meeting his wounded friend Gon. When emotionless Yoon-jae simply accepts Gon’s pain as it is, genuine connection blossoms between them.

Their story shows that our “place” is often found within spaces of mutual healing and recognition with others. The journey to understand myself is ultimately completed through relationships.

Three Tools to Discover Yourself

So how can we draw the map within? Philosophy and psychology offer these useful tools:

1. Understanding self-identity: The “self” is not a fixed entity but a dynamic process of answering the question, “Who am I?”
2. Optimizing myself: Instead of fitting into an ideal mold, observe yourself as you are to find what truly fits. Ask yourself, “What activities genuinely make me happy, not based on others’ views?”
3. Finding life’s purpose through Fun, Meaning, and Excellence: Positive psychology identifies these three as common in people who experience happiness and flow. At their intersection lies a “calling” beyond mere livelihood.

Step 2: Are We Together or Alone? — Finding My Place in Relationships

Once you have drawn your inner map, it’s time to step into the world. Humans cannot exist alone, and our “place” is inevitably defined through relationships with others.

The Instinct of Belonging and the Disease of Isolation

Psychologist A. H. Maslow regarded the “need for love and belonging” as essential. Belonging is more than being part of a group; it is the subjective experience of being accepted and understood within it. However, modern society suffers from the epidemic of isolation due to rising single-person households and community breakdowns. Emotional deprivation, or loneliness, deepens even when surrounded by people.

New Ways of Relating: The “Voluntary Outsider” and Generational Differences

Interestingly, more people now identify as “voluntary outsiders.” They choose solitude to avoid the fatigue of unnecessary relationships, known as “relationship fatigue.” This shift shows a change from “given belonging” to a belonging that is chosen and curated based on personal preferences and values.

This change is also evident in generational differences regarding “place” at work.

Comparison of Values on “Place” by Generation

Step 3: People Who Created New Places

How do people concretely find their own place? Finding my place is not passive discovery but an active process of creation.

Journey 1: Returning Home — Cultivating My Own “Little Forest”

Some burned out by city life return to rural areas to cultivate their own “little forest.” This choice is not mere escape but an active desire to live more freely. Successful settlement requires thorough preparation like smart farm education and building relationships with existing residents. Through hands-on experience with soil and crops, they reclaim their lost selves.

Journey 2: Leap — Quitting in Your 40s to Start Your Own Business

“If I have to leave the company in 10 years anyway, wouldn’t it be safer to start fresh while I’m younger?” I too decided on a new challenge after similar thoughts. Some in their 40s leave stable jobs to start their own businesses. Thanks to their experience and networks, their success rate is high, but risks remain. Family support and social safety nets are crucial pillars on this tough journey.

Journey 3: Connection — Discovering Myself in “Loose Connections”

Modern people who feel disconnected in crowded cities find new places within “loose connections.” They meet in interest-based communities like “Munto” and “Trevari.” The greatest appeal of “looseness” is enjoying connection without deep commitment or obligation. Here, “place” is not a fixed group but a flexible network of relationships centered on individual passions.

Step 4: A Life That ‘Reveres’ Me — Toward True Liberation

The destination of the journey to find my place is not a physical location or social status but a state of complete self-acceptance and liberation. The drama explores this deeply.

A New Relationship of ‘Reverence’ and Mutual Salvation

The protagonist Yeom Mi-jung’s monologue, “I have never been fulfilled,” pierces modern emptiness. Her plea to the outsider Mr. Gu, “Revere me,” is a longing for existential salvation through unconditional support to fill her emptiness. Remarkably, this relationship becomes mutual salvation. By revering Mi-jung, Mr. Gu finds motivation to escape lethargy and a reason to save himself. This shows that our “place” can be found in partners who help each other’s liberation.

Ultimately, true “place” is not geographic or occupational but a psychological state within. When we reconcile and fully accept ourselves, we reach inner peace and no longer need to wander in search of a place.

Conclusion: Cultivate Your Own Little Forest

The journey that began with the question “Where is my place?” ends in inner liberation.

• Finding my place starts with inner exploration. Knowing myself well prevents losing my way in the world.
• Forms of relationships are changing. Rather than being bound by given belonging, you can create your own “loose connections” that fit you.
• The ultimate “place” is within your heart. When you reach full self-acceptance and liberation, you finally find your true place.

What hunger do you feel in your life right now? Today, take a small step to cultivate your own “little forest.” That is the true beginning of finding my place.