The Question Raised by the Red Ferrari in Gangnam
At dusk, on a street in Seoul’s Gangnam filled with people burdened by the day’s fatigue, a dazzling red Ferrari appeared amid the gray buildings, its majestic engine sound silencing all noise. At that moment, pedestrians paused, their gazes converging on one spot. That car was not just a machine. It seemed like a massive symbol embodying all the values we dream of: ‘success,’ ‘wealth,’ and ‘freedom.’
Complex emotions such as envy, admiration, and perhaps a bit of jealousy flickered across people’s faces. But the truly interesting point is that, at that moment, the protagonist in most people’s minds was not the unknown person sitting in the driver’s seat.
“Wow… how would it feel if I were driving that car?” “If I had a car like that, who would I take first, and where would I go?” “Everyone would be looking only at me, right?”
Yes, while looking at the Ferrari before us, we were imagining ‘ourselves’ inside it. The actual owner of the car was like an invisible person, out of focus. We were simply borrowing that flashy symbol for a moment, dreaming sweetly about ‘myself envied by everyone.’
Morgan Housel, author of The Psychology of Money, called this fascinating feeling the ‘Man in the Car Paradox.’ This paradox poses deep questions about why we want to earn money and what the real reason behind dreaming of wealth is.
Now, shall we embark on this journey of the heart that began with this red Ferrari? As we unravel the secrets of money, happiness, and human desire, it will be a journey to find the answer to what true ‘mental abundance’ is.
Chapter 1. The Ferrari in the Mirror: Who Are You Looking At?
When we see a Ferrari, why do we imagine not its owner but ‘ourselves driving it’? This is a story much deeper than simply saying ‘I’m envious.’ It speaks to our very nature.
1) A Mirror Reflecting My Heart: Projection of Desire
Have you heard of the term ‘projection’? In psychoanalysis, it means projecting our inner thoughts or desires onto others or objects. The Ferrari paradox is a perfect example of this ‘projection.’ We place our deep desires to ‘succeed’ and ‘be recognized’ onto the dazzling object called a Ferrari.
The driver is invisible. In that empty seat, we place a very familiar presence: ourselves. Thus, the Ferrari’s owner becomes invisible, and in that seat sits the ideal version of ourselves, confidently holding the steering wheel.
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2) The Ruler in Our Mind: The Instinct to Check Our Position
Inside our minds, there is an ‘unmarked ruler.’ Social psychologist Leon Festinger called this the ‘social comparison theory,’ which says we have an instinct to constantly compare ourselves with others to assess our value and abilities. This ruler appears especially often when it comes to issues like ‘happiness’ or ‘success,’ which have no clear answers.
The Ferrari is a powerful stimulant that brings out this ruler of comparison. The huge gap between my ordinary life and that flashy Ferrari is striking. Such comparisons can sometimes discourage us, but they also give us hope: “Someday, I will too!” Imagining ‘myself driving a Ferrari’ might be our cute effort to soothe a temporarily hurt heart through imagination.
3) An Ancient Instinct: Signals of Wealth and Survival
This is like an ancient instinct engraved in our DNA. Since ancient times, humans have evolved to be attracted to those with more resources, which are advantageous for survival and reproduction. Today, ‘money’ has become the strongest symbol representing those resources.
Luxury items like Ferraris are powerful ‘signals’ shouting to the world, “I am in a very advantageous position in this fierce competition!” When we see that signal and place ourselves in it, it goes beyond simply wanting expensive things; it reflects our most primal wish to live more securely and abundantly.
Chapter 2. The Mirage of Likes: The Giant Exhibition Created by Social Media
If the Ferrari on the street is a short play, then social media on our smartphones is a giant blockbuster theater open 24/7, 365 days a year.
1) My Brightest Moments: Flexing and the Edited Life
Social media has turned all of us into directors and actors of our own lives. We carefully select and beautifully edit only our brightest moments—our happiest trips, dinners at the most expensive restaurants, newly bought luxury bags—and display them. This is the ‘Flex culture.’
The problem is that what we see is not someone’s ‘real life’ but a thoroughly ‘staged scene.’ At least the Ferrari on the street exists, but the glamor on social media can sometimes be an illusory mirage. Are we exhausting ourselves by comparing our ordinary reality to that sparkling mirage?
2) The Pleasure of Peeking into Their Lives: ‘Silver Spoon Influencers’ and the Trap of Vicarious Satisfaction
The lives of ‘silver spoon influencers’—those who seem to have everything from birth—stimulate many people’s curiosity. Watching their lives, we experience worlds we normally cannot, feeling vicarious satisfaction. It’s like the thrilling excitement of imagining ourselves as the main character.
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But this sweet vicarious satisfaction is like addictive snacks. If you keep eating them, real healthy meals start to taste bland. Similarly, constantly peeking into others’ glamorous lives can make our simple but precious days feel shabby and unsatisfactory. This can lead to dangerous traps, such as reckless financial decisions like ‘all-in’ investments or borrowing money.
3) The Prison Built by Algorithms: The Inescapable Cycle of Comparison
Even scarier is that social media algorithms are designed to exploit our ‘comparing mind’ to keep us hooked longer. The more envy we feel and the more ’likes’ we give, the more the algorithm shows us similar, flashier, and more stimulating content.
Eventually, we become trapped in a ‘prison of comparison’ from which we cannot escape. Inside, we constantly weigh ourselves against others, engaging in an exhausting battle of anxiety and jealousy.
Chapter 3. Between Respect and Admiration: What We Really Want
Perhaps we are trying to buy ‘respect’ with money. But there is an important misconception we must understand. What we gain from expensive things—is it true ‘respect,’ or just fleeting ‘admiration’?
1) Admiration Goes to Things, Respect Goes to People
Remember, ‘admiration’ is applause for objects, while ‘respect’ is a bow toward a person’s inner qualities. They are completely different.
- Objects of admiration: supercars, luxury watches, expensive clothes (visible things)
- Objects of respect: warm character, deep wisdom, kindness, sincerity (invisible inner qualities)
Think of Dr. Chang Ki-ryeo, known as the ‘Schweitzer of Korea.’ We deeply respect his life, devoted to the poor and sick without owning a home. What car he drove or what clothes he wore is irrelevant. Are we mistaking the fleeting ‘admiration’ gained from symbols of wealth for lifelong ‘respect’?
2) Walls Built by Wealth: Relationships Growing More Distant Rather Than Closer
Sometimes, flaunting wealth creates transparent walls between others and ourselves. It sends a silent message: ‘I am different from you.’ Trying to maintain a perfect and wealthy image makes it difficult to show vulnerability and build deep, sincere relationships. The loneliness hidden behind the glamour may come this way.
3) True Wealth Is Proven by ‘What You Can Do’
The greatest gift money gives us is not a Ferrari or a luxury watch. It is the invisible true wealth of ‘autonomy’ and ‘choice.’
- The freedom to say “No” to work you don’t want to do
- The leisure to rest comfortably without money worries when sick
- The choice to spend more time with loved ones
- The stability to maintain control of your life even in sudden crises
These are the highest values money can provide. This ‘invisible wealth’ does not need others’ admiration. It only enriches your life and your heart.
Chapter 4. The Power of Invisible Wealth: Seeking True Abundance
Now, it’s time to shift our focus from ‘wealth to show others’ to ‘wealth entirely for myself,’ from ‘material abundance’ to ‘psychological abundance.’ How can we cultivate this mental richness?
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1) The Power to Take the Wheel of Your Life: ‘F-You Money’
Charlie Munger, the investment master, talks about ‘F-You Money.’ Though a blunt term, it means having enough money to confidently say “F-You!” to unfair demands or insulting proposals and walk your own path.
This doesn’t simply mean having a lot of money. It means true financial independence—the power to steer your life according to your own will and values without handing the wheel to others. Our goal should not be to ’look rich to others’ but to ‘be the complete master of our own life.’
2) The Wisest Spending: Buy Time with Money
One of the smartest ways to spend money is to buy time. Using services to handle chores you dislike or living close to work to reduce commuting time are all acts of buying time.
This time is a huge asset. It reduces stress and allows you to be with loved ones or do what you truly enjoy. The joy from a multi-million-dollar supercar quickly fades, but the one hour of freedom you get every evening gifts you endless happiness.
3) Practicing Happiness: The Wisdom of Counting What You Have
‘Psychological abundance’ begins not by sighing over what you lack but by appreciating what you already have. You’ve probably heard that keeping a ‘gratitude journal’ greatly helps happiness.
Tonight, before sleeping, why not recall three things you were grateful for today? Simple things like “The kimchi stew I had for lunch was really delicious,” or “I laughed heartily talking with a friend after a long time.” This small habit amazingly shifts our mind’s focus from ’lack’ to ‘abundance.’ Gratitude is the strongest key to free us from the endless prison of comparison.
Get Out of the Ferrari and Take the Wheel Yourself
Our long journey of the heart began with a red Ferrari on a street in Gangnam. We looked into the hidden desires behind that dazzling metal—our deep longing for recognition and the instinct to constantly compare ourselves.
Now it’s time to stop imagining ‘successful me’ sitting in the Ferrari’s passenger seat and get out of that car. Even if your own car looks a bit worn and humble, you must sit in the driver’s seat and take the wheel yourself.
True wealth cannot be measured only by the numbers in your bank account. It is measured by how much you steer your life according to your will (autonomy), how deeply you share your heart with loved ones (relationships), and how gratefully you live with what you have (mindset).
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The final message of the ‘Ferrari Paradox’ may be this:
“Don’t spend money to earn others’ admiration. Instead, use money to enrich your own life.”
Now, on the road of your life, what car will you drive and where will you go? Even if a flashy Ferrari roars past you, the inner strength to stay steady and quietly follow your own path—that is the greatest ‘wealth’ money can never buy.
Only you can hold that steering wheel.